LFM BFF and WoW Sluts

Confession: I’m feeling cranky.

I have now heard from yet another male WoW player that, “most girls who play are WoW sluts.”

Lan: WoW sluts? Like…. wait, what do you mean?

WoWguy47: Well, you know. They’re only there to find guys because they can’t get a date in real life.

My new slut, er, alt, Lantanna.

My new slut, er, alt, Lantanna.

Lan: So… most girls are picking up guys all the time?

Wowguy47: Yeah, and you know, they just cause all this drama. This one girl who was in our guild was dating this guy, and then she broke up with him, and it was all this drama. God, I hate guild drama.

Lan: So what happened?

WoWguy47: I dunno, she quit or transferred servers or something. Really, having girls in the guild causes so much drama. They’re all like, ‘you’re my new BFF’ and then it goes to shit.

Lan: Ah, I see. What about him? Did he quit?

WoWguy47: No way, he’s one of our best [tanks/DPS/mages/w.e.].

Lan: So she was only there to find someone to sleep with?

WoWguy47: Yeah, really most girls who play are like that. This one girl who used to play with us slept with, like, tons of guys.

Lan: Um, you mean slept with as in “slept with” in WoW, or met offline and then slept with?

WoWguy47: Yeah, met offline. Or yeah, I dunnno, probably in WoW, too.

Lan: So that was why she was playing, you think?

WoWguy47: Yeah, she never had a boyfriend before WoW and then all of a sudden there’s all these guys that she’s with. It’s so annoying. Either they’re there to pick up guys or they’re just really dumb, you know, asking the dumbest things.

Lan: So what about people like me?

WoWguy47: Well, you know, you’re fine. You’re not a WoW slut.

Lan: So have you ever had a girlfriend in WoW?

WoWguy47: Well yeah, but that was different.

Lan: Ah, I see.

Here’s something I don’t understand. Why, when talking to a female, do some guys say obnoxious things about females in general? Do they think I won’t notice? That I don’t count? That somehow it’s cool to think “girls” are dumb/slutty/problems and I’ll be charmed that they’re still talking to me?

As I say. Cranky.

(and no, this wasn’t a conversation with a specific person, rather a combo of many very, very similar conversations I’ve had)

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11 responses to “LFM BFF and WoW Sluts

  1. the sad part is, while the stereotype has become generalization which is one of the reasons while female gamers often don’t speak in vent, play male characters (or make their girls look ugly), etc – there are actually women in WoW who are exactly as this guy so obnoxiously described to you. I’ve met them. I’ve been guilded with them. I’ve heard them flirt in vent, and I had a few friends actually rant to me in whispers about girls like it.

    Far from all women who play are like that. but these cases stay with you, they are vivid in your mind and for less experiences/younger – they become the universal truth :(

    I don’t have a solution for that:( All I can do is live my now favorite quote
    “Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself…Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards.”
    – Lois McMaster Bujold,

  2. I always think that conversations like that are supposed to be complimentary in some way – because you are different, or they wouldn’t be talking to you about “girls”. Something strange like that.

  3. People like to categorize things, and for the most part, we do it by qualities that are memorable so we can pull them up quickly at a later time. These guys are just doing what humans do naturally. Of course, the generalizations are based off inaccurate information, and is probably a defense mechanism as well.

    When I run into people like this, I roll my eyes and have as little contact with them as possible. In the past I’ve tried to counter such things, but I just don’t have the energy or desire anymore. You can’t change people, they can only change themselves.

    My own experience with WoW girls is limited, but I haven’t seen any more flirting from the girls than I have from the guys. Heck, I’m guilty of light flirting as well. However, if I were not married, I’m sure I’d be in there flirting it up whenever possible. At least, as flirtingly as a introverted geek can.

  4. *face palm*
    It makes you wish there was a punch in the face emote in WoW sometimes. However, I would like to point out that females are guilty of similar comments. Ex. Guild chat “I really hate all guys, the suck” then “Your right they are so dumb and immature” etc etc (two girls in guild chat, 5 guys). This is not in defense of WoWwhatadumbguy47 or whatever, but it is interesting to see the same behavior across the gender lines.

  5. This is definitely true – my experience of this kind of comment from women is less because there are so many fewer women in guild chat, etc.

    I still don’t really understand, though, whether or not saying those things to *me* is meant to be flattering? Flirting? “But you, you’re special”?

  6. Actually I am sure it is meant to be more “flattering” than anything else. In his mind it was “she isn’t anything like THOSE girls ergo I can bash them and make generalizations because I know she wont take it personally.”

    This does pose an interesting question in my mind: Are there female players out there that view the behavior of “flirty” WoW females as slutty and resent them for it?

  7. Yes, I think so. I’ve definitely heard women complain about this as well. I’ve never really seen it much, though. Maybe I should start pretending I’m a guy and see if I can get some insight :) heh heh j/k

  8. This *horrifies* me. Cranky? I’d be livid.

    I know these sort of experiences / conversations are 2 a penny in WoW (y’know, before I played WoW I used to think that people who complained about the use of ‘gay’ as a pejorative were over-reacting and now I’m actually rabid about it) but every time I read something like this I … gah!

    As if the problems inherent in a space where the default is *explicitely* straight white male weren’t bad enough, the rationalisation for such appalling judgements on other players disgusts me. “Well some girls are actually like that” they always say.

  9. Hahaha! This is funny!

    When I first started reading the post (cause of the pic), I thought the guy meant ‘slut’ as in erm…well.

    *hangs head*

    I r has a deep, dark, sekrit.

    I LOVE making my girly toons look skanky! As skanky as possible! (Yus, I r a girl.) It’s just wonderful to me! It’s as if I can play with the Barbie I always wanted, but they never made. You know, the Barbie I can dress up like a total skanky hotty who can kick ass with her big sword/staff/fierybatterofdoom. So when I started reading, I thought THAT was what he was complaining about. Like, “Wah! All the girls I know in WoW like to dress their toons like sluts!”

    Then I read more and it sank in that it wasn’t about that at all. :(

    As for the thing about ‘all girls are just looking for a hookup etc’ – I dunno where I read this, or who came up with it but… if their mics are ‘broken’ (my mic is almost always ‘broken’!), how do the silly boys you are talking about know that they’re not just playing an MMORPG (Many Men Online Role Playing Girls). XD

    But I do think that while all humans flirt, in the context of MMOs at least, it gets noticed *more* when girlies flirt with an ulterior motive. Because honestly, it annoys me when a fellow girly plays the ‘I’m a girl so help me’ card. I’m a girl, and so help me, I want to throttle you! *Ahem* But there, you see? Memorable negative reaction. Since ‘I’m a boy so help me’ … doesn’t really seem to be all that ingrained as a social thingamabob.

    As for the word ‘gay’ as a pejorative, it’s always slightly bothered me. Not hugely, just slightly. Like – meh – using that word as a bad word is kinda silly of j00! But it didn’t really go beyond that until…

    …one of the junior designers I hired at my office was using ‘gay’ to mean anything she didn’t like. >.< And the thing is, she was a really nice girly! I liked her! So one day, I said… that word you keep using, 'gay' – do you really know what it means, or what you're implying? [I was tempted to follow up with asking, 'Would you go around saying, "Man, that is so JEW!"' but I managed to restrain myself. *pat self*]

    O.o She turned slightly pink and never used the word in that sense again. In front of me, anyway.

    Of course, she probably thought I was gay after that. XD

  10. Longpig Jenkins

    I actually met my wife in a random dungeon on WoW and we are very happily married. But I have had female BFF’s in the game and it turned out badly every single time. It’s sad that the stereotype exists but it’s based on what guys have experienced.

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